Keith .. Olbermann .. Is .. Evil

31 December 2007, Monday

Happy Beddian Year

Filed under: Department of Celebration — Keith Olbermann Is Evil @ 19:07:12

I read this in The New Yorker a few weeks ago and thought it was pretty nifty:

One Saturday in August, Rhonda Roland Shearer, the widow of the paleontologist Stephen Jay Gould, was on her way back from the park with her daughter and two grandsons. They made a stop, as they often do, at the fire station on Sixth and Houston, so that the boys could check out the fire trucks. Joey Graffagnino showed the kids around the truck while Shearer chatted with another firefighter, Bobby Beddia. Shearer said recently, “He mentioned that he was very lucky, because he was fifty-three, so this year he got to experience living in his ‘birth year.’ ”

Shearer, an artist who has done some work with fractal geometry and runs a group called Art Science Research Laboratory, asked Beddia what he meant. He explained that he was born in 1953 (in September), so his age matched the last two digits of the year in which he was born: a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence. “He had this glow that I recognized from seeing the faces of mathematicians when they’ve discovered a beautiful idea,” Shearer said.

I’m a little ways off from reaching my Beddian year. I hope I make it. People born in 1954 will achieve their Beddian year in 2008. Happy Beddian to you.

And Happy New Year to everyone.

————————————————————————————————–

A Firefighter’s Theorem
by Lizzie Widdicombe
November 12, 2007

One Saturday in August, Rhonda Roland Shearer, the widow of the paleontologist Stephen Jay Gould, was on her way back from the park with her daughter and two grandsons. They made a stop, as they often do, at the fire station on Sixth and Houston, so that the boys could check out the fire trucks. Joey Graffagnino showed the kids around the truck while Shearer chatted with another firefighter, Bobby Beddia. Shearer said recently, “He mentioned that he was very lucky, because he was fifty-three, so this year he got to experience living in his ‘birth year.’ ”

Shearer, an artist who has done some work with fractal geometry and runs a group called Art Science Research Laboratory, asked Beddia what he meant. He explained that he was born in 1953 (in September), so his age matched the last two digits of the year in which he was born: a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence. “He had this glow that I recognized from seeing the faces of mathematicians when they’ve discovered a beautiful idea,” Shearer said. “I told him, ‘You should really contact a mathematician to work out a proof.’ As I was saying that, I was secretly planning to explore it myself and surprise him.”

Shearer and her family went to lunch. A few hours later, she got a call from a friend: a seven-alarm fire had broken out in the vacant Deutsche Bank Building, near Ground Zero, and two firemen—Graffagnino and Beddia—had been killed. Shearer decided to continue investigating Beddia’s observation, as a tribute. She called her friend Richard Brandt, a retired N.Y.U. physicist. He pointed out something that would be obvious to mathematicians: the “birth year” can happen only in an even-numbered year—in Beddia’s case, the year beginning in 2006, or, in Brandt’s case, 1982, the year when he turned forty-one (since he was born in ’41). “It’s simple, but the originality is to recognize that it’s happening,” Brandt said the other day.

Shearer told the story to Barry Cipra, a freelance math writer in Minnesota. “When I described it to my wife, she immediately thought of the champagne birthday—when you reach the age of the day of the month you were born,” Cipra said. “But nobody I’ve run this by has ever heard of this notion. What’s sort of great about it is that it will happen to everybody if you live long enough. If you were born in 2000, it happens instantaneously. The people who were born at the end of the century have to take care of themselves.”

Cipra wrote a short paper on the idea, which he calls the “Beddian year.” “It struck me that, at any given moment, the world consists of two types of people: those who have reached their ‘Beddian’ age, and those who haven’t,” Cipra writes. “I got to wondering which group is larger.” That question is really demographic—it depends on generational shifts—but he boils it down to a respectably difficult math problem: “What is the range of ages of people who currently (in 2007) are pre-Beddian?” A hint: they don’t fall into a single age group. For example, in 2008, Shearer, born in ’54, and her grandson Fionn, born in ’04, will share the same Beddian year. (He’ll be four, and she’ll be fifty-four.)

It took Cipra the better part of a week to come up with the complete answer—one that describes, for any given year, the ranges of people who are pre-Beddian. For those who can make sense of it:

Beddia Theorem: In any odd-numbered year, there are exactly 50 pre-Beddian ages. In any even-numbered year, there are exactly 49 pre-Beddian ages. Moreover, with three exceptions, these ages consist of two separate spans. The exceptions are 1998 (or any year ending in ’98), for which the pre-Beddian ages comprise the single span 0-48, 1999 (or any year ending in ’99), for which they comprise the single span 0-49, and 2000 (or any year ending in ’00), for which they comprise the single span 1-49.

The other night at the fire station, some friends of Beddia’s confirmed that he was a numbers guy: he liked poker and golf; when he played roulette, he always played twenty-four—the number of his engine company. “Let me tell you what this means,” Lieutenant Ray O’Hanlon said, slipping off his boots. “It means that if you were talking to Bobby in a bar, and suddenly it came up ‘How old are you?’ and Bobby says, ‘I’m the same age as the year I was born’—now you have to talk to him more. That was Bobby.” O’Hanlon continued, “Trust me, it wasn’t a math quandary. It was a . . . would a pickup line be the wrong answer?”

30 December 2007, Sunday

Further Adventures of Man vs. Nature and Man vs. Man

Filed under: All Creatures Great and Small — Keith Olbermann Is Evil @ 17:26:23

tiger.jpgBig-cat experts say a determined tiger could get over 12 1/2-foot wall

Well, duh! The Rick Peterson of Cats is about 18 pounds of chubby furhood and easily leaps six feet. Even an overweight tiger can, I’m sure, handle 12.5 feet.

On “Good fences make good neighbors.”:

judie4mets commented: What a horrific story. I feel so sorry for the families of the victims.

One of my aunts has a cat who is fairly old but he can leap from the floor to the top of a shelf, about 5′. And not from a running start. He’ll just be sitting or standing on the floor and with one motion he is on top the shelf. I read one news story that said tigers in zoos are not as physcially conditioned as tigers in the wild, but still. A 16′4″ wall would slow one down but not stop one.

And Hawaii wrote: The tiger thing is horrible. Zoos need to be more like wild animal parks where the animals roam and the people go by in trams. Keeping a tiger fat and lazy so it is too out of shape to kill people seems to be missing the spirit of zoos.

At our zoo I went on a tour and they explained that the gazellas can jump out easily from their pens, so what they do with the babies is encourage them to jump out once and then the zookeepers chase it back in by banging garbage lids. The poor creature gets so frightened it will never jump out again. What a security system, huh? I am just hoping they have a better method for the big cats. Sheesh.

I’ve read a few articles from the San Francisco Chronicle, which is naturally giving the story a higher profile than are the national media. I’m not sure if the following is true or not, but I saw it in the comments to the article I linked above:

resono: Heres news. Another tiger did jump the mote in the San Francisco zoo in the 1960’s. It was a Bengal Tiger named Mike. This story was on KRON TV Ch. 4 on Friday, the 28th. They interviewed a retired zoo worker who had pictures of Mike, the Bengal Tiger. One day to their surprise there was Mike walking along the top of the mote wall, but behind the short fence. This was the same mote/enclosure that Tatiana was in. They yelled to him to get back down and he soon jumped into his enclosure again. … Posted 12/29/2007 9:31:01 AM

Yikes.

Hawaii, are you speaking of the San Diego Zoo? That’s one of the best in the country. If they say the garbage can lid method works, I’d accept it. Of course, escaped gazelles probably won’t attack anyone. And banging garbage can lids would probably just irritate tigers.

Browsing through the comments of the various Chronicle articles I was rather surprised at how judgemental some people are regarding the tiger incident. From what I’ve read on the Chronicle Web site, nothing has been confirmed about the victims taunting the tiger or if they went to the zoo together or simply happened to meet there. Yet many commenters have written that the victims went to the zoo to make trouble, deserved what they got (although there seems to be some evidence that Carlos Sousa, Jr., the young man who was killed, distracted the tiger from the other two victims and possibly saved their lives), and that the two survivors are “gangsters,” “gangbangers,” and “thugs.” Boy, talk about jumping to conclusions. OK, the two survivors have had previous scrapes with the law, but how this makes them “gangsters” is beyond me. Certainly, their uncooperative stance with the police might reflect their culpability in the incident. But as DP said after Sean Taylor’s murder, it’s best to let the story play out and get all the facts before passing judgement. I think people watch too many cop shows on tv and want everything to wrap up after about an hour.

It’s also disconcerting that some commenters are pulling out the race card, mentioning that the victims liked hip-hop music and that the two survivors are of Indian descent and therefore have no regard for the norms of America. Geez Louise! Whatever happened to logic and critical reasoning? In listening to the DP Show it was surprising to me how often people play the race card. I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised anymore.

29 December 2007, Saturday

Charles Dickens and the NFL

Filed under: Department of Ouch — Keith Olbermann Is Evil @ 21:02:05

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times …

Cris Collinsworth is in the broadcast booth for the Patriots-Giants game, which is most excellent because he is a great analyst. The only problem is that Bryant Gumbel is in the booth with him. Ugh.

If only there was a way to put Gumbel on mute while still being able to hear Collinsworth.

Oh, well. At least it’s shaping up to be a good game.

(Note to DP: We do not ever want to hear Bryant Gumbel on your show.)

The New Dan Patrick Show: Step Right Up

Filed under: Lou Patrick's Pet Human Dan — Keith Olbermann Is Evil @ 17:52:17

Yeah, I liked the Tom Brokaw interview (hour 1 of the 12.21.07 show), but was a tad disappointed that he was shilling his latest book. I mean, I’d like to think that he’d simply want to have an intelligent chat, and I’d also like to think that DP can attract guests by the sheer force of his personality. I’ll take DP’s word for it that the book is good, but is it possible to invite guests without some sort of quid pro quo entering in? Maybe that’s the name of the game. I wonder if DP has to pay — in one form or another — guests to appear.

A day or two before Jose Canseco was on the show (a day or two after The Mitchell Report was released) I heard The Jim Rome Show (I sometimes put on Rome while I’m waiting for DP’s downloads to appear on the KLAC site); he wanted Canseco on the show but Canseco wanted payment to appear and Rome said no way. Did DP pay Canseco? Or was mention of Canseco’s upcoming book the trade-off for the appearance?

One of my favorite interviews was DP’s chat with Matt Damon (11.27.07 show, hour 3). It was arranged to publicize the Red Sox 2007 World Series dvd, and it probably didn’t hurt that “The Bourne Ultimatum” dvd was about to come out.

Everybody’s selling something:

Step Right Up

DP could not match the deepness of Brokaw’s voice. No way he could ever come close to Tom Waits’.)

28 December 2007, Friday

“Good fences make good neighbors.”

Filed under: All Creatures Great and Small — Keith Olbermann Is Evil @ 00:18:59

The director of the San Francisco Zoo, where a Siberian tiger killed a teenager and mauled two men on Tuesday, said Thursday that the concrete wall surrounding the area where the animal had been held was 12 feet 5 inches tall, nearly 4 feet shorter than the recommended national standard.

The Association of Zoos and Aquariums, a professional zoological organization that establishes “acceptable standards” for animal facilities, recommends that the fortress around a tiger exhibit be 16 feet 4 inches tall.

    —-Wall Isolating Tiger Habitat Is Shorter Than Zoos Advise

I don’t know. Our cats can leap from the driveway to the top of a wooden fence, a height of about 6 feet. If our fat little friends can do that, I’m thinking a tiger enclosure should have walls of at least 40 feet.

Mending Wall

Something there is that doesn’t love a wall,

That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,

And spills the upper boulders in the sun;

And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.

The work of hunters is another thing:

I have come after them and made repair

Where they have left not one stone on a stone,

But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,

To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,

No one has seen them made or heard them made,

But at spring mending-time we find them there.

I let my neighbor know beyond the hill;

And on a day we meet to walk the line

And set the wall between us once again.

We keep the wall between us as we go.

To each the boulders that have fallen to each.

And some are loaves and some so nearly balls

We have to use a spell to make them balance:

‘Stay where you are until our backs are turned!’

We wear our fingers rough with handling them.

Oh, just another kind of outdoor game,

One on a side. It comes to little more:

There where it is we do not need the wall:

He is all pine and I am apple orchard.

My apple trees will never get across

And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.

He only says, ‘Good fences make good neighbors.’

Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder

If I could put a notion in his head:

‘Why do they make good neighbors? Isn’t it

Where there are cows? But here there are no cows.

Before I built a wall I’d ask to know

What I was walling in or walling out,

And to whom I was like to give offense.

Something there is that doesn’t love a wall,

That wants it down.’ I could say ‘Elves’ to him,

But it’s not elves exactly, and I’d rather

He said it for himself. I see him there

Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top

In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.

He moves in darkness as it seems to me,

Not of woods only and the shade of trees.

He will not go behind his father’s saying,

And he likes having thought of it so well

He says again, ‘Good fences make good neighbors.’

    —- Robert Frost

27 December 2007, Thursday

The New Dan Patrick Show: White Boy Can Shoot

Filed under: Lou Patrick's Pet Human Dan — Keith Olbermann Is Evil @ 01:20:52

Man, too bad DP couldn’t have gotten in on the game with Barack Obama: He Shoots — But Will He Score?

From the SI article, One-on-One With Obama:

When a coach, a close friend, casually threw out the word n—–, Obama says, “It reminded me that race is complicated, that people are complicated, that you could have ugly strains even among people who were otherwise decent…. It does not necessarily mean they’re bad people.”

On Dan’s a Guppy?:

CP wrote: How about an anti-octopus?

And Hawaii added: I think, to mangle a phrase, that Dan wants to be a guppy in a large pond rather than an octopus in a fishbowl right now.

BTW, have you noticed that he is starting to use that big pond, and is interviewing people other than just athletes and coaches? Hugh Hefner (who I could live without, but that’s beside the point), Tom Brokaw, James Carville, Rob Tannenbaum from Blender, and a congressman talking steroids, have all been on the show in the last 5 shows. The show has really been moving along nicely lately. Maybe they were inspired by your Evil Palaver list? :)

Good observation re the big pond vs the fishbowl.

Re Evil Palaver: No direct evidence that Dan is taking Evil’s advice, but we do know that he listens to Palaver!

26 December 2007, Wednesday

The New Dan Patrick Show: Where’s Waldo Dan?

Filed under: Lou Patrick's Pet Human Dan — Keith Olbermann Is Evil @ 14:57:12

http://www.profootballhof.com/store/item.jsp?item_id=2642OK, Christmas is over. I can tell because the local radio station that has been playing Christmas carols since Halloween played “Maggie May” and “Hotel California” this morning, two decidedly non-Christmas-sy pieces. Wandered over to the KLAC podcast site to download DP’s Christmas Eve and Christmas shows; only caught the last hour of yesterday’s show.

But, lo. The cupboard is bare.

Perhaps KLAC will get around to posting those shows. I don’t know. I don’t think they ever got around to posting DP’s Thanksgiving week shows (the Thursday and Friday ones). I kept checking back, but gave up after a couple of weeks. Maybe I’m the only person who is dedicated/obsessive enough to want to catch up on all the shows I miss. I’m kind of dreading DP’s union with Sports Illustrated because I don’t like the SI Web site. (Pretty darn fugly.) But I hope they do a better job providing technical support for his show.

The last show I heard is last Thursday’s. I’m two hours into it. I already gave the big thumb’s up on Palaver to DP’s autograph stories bit last week, but I really liked DP’s interview with Howie Long. I’m old enough to remember Howie from his playing days with the Raiders (heck, I’m old enough to remember John Madden as a coach, not just a video game) and he was always one of those hard-nosed, no-nonsense guys. Well, linemen have to be. But he’s also a very articulate, funny guy and a good analyst. And I love the unconventional answer he gave to DP when asked (18.59 into the segment) “Give me a woman who would distract even the great Howie Long” — a là the Tony Romo-Jessica Simpson thing. Without missing a beat he answered “Sophia Loren” and even cited two of her movies, El Cid (one of my all-time favorites) and Houseboat. Seton, ring the home run bell for Howie! DP clearly expected him to answer with something like Scarlett Johansson or Halle Berry or some Babe-of-the-Week. Way to throw DP a curve, Howie.

And DP backed the car over Lou? (35.21 into the segment.) It happened a couple of years ago; it’s nice to know that he made a good recovery. And you thought Lou was mad at Michael Vick ….

Wow! Music by Miklós Rózsa! My parents had the soundtrack album and I listened to it a lot as a kid. Man, I think I have to run out and buy the dvd right now.

25 December 2007, Tuesday

Fear not, for behold I bring you tidings of great joy …

Filed under: You'll Shoot Your Eye Out — Keith Olbermann Is Evil @ 12:40:42

24 December 2007, Monday

Dan’s a Guppy?

Filed under: Lou Patrick's Pet Human Dan — Keith Olbermann Is Evil @ 01:31:17

guppy.jpgThe Top Player in This League? It May Be the Sports Reporter

For some newspaper reporters, the appeal of a place like ESPN is not just the money but the vastly expanded audience, the ability to became a brand name, available through several media formats. “It’s like going from a guppy to an octopus,” Mr. Boras, the sports agent, said.

23 December 2007, Sunday

The New Dan Patrick Show: In Defense of Jessica Simpson

Filed under: Lou Patrick's Pet Human Dan — Keith Olbermann Is Evil @ 19:40:33

http://www.nflshop.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2568951&cp=2237409.2237484.2238109&parentPage=familyOK, so I would have listened to downloads of the show this afternoon (I still have two-thirds of Thursday and all of Friday to get to), but the Patriots game was on. Sure, Bill Belichick was found guilty in SpyGate, but it really is something to watch such a good football team in action. Pretty sloppy second half, however.

And in spite of what Cris Carter said on the show a week or so ago (and I think DP agreed with him) — that Wes Welker was not a 100 catches-a-year-guy — Welker caught his 100th and 101st passes. Yes, Randy Moss opens a lot for the other Patriot receivers and he’s probably a Hall-of-Famer while Welker is not. But why do you have to hate on one guy in order to demonstrate your love for another?

This Man Crush thing is confusing ….

So is the ire directed at Jessica Simpson. OK, I know I poked fun at her, too. But in watching parts of three football games today, what’s sillier than seeing very unathletic-looking men and women wearing the jerseys of their favorite players? (Not to mention face paint, outrageous outfits, etc.) Some of them are fat, some are scrawny, and most look like they’d never be able to run a 100-yard dash without having a heart-attack. But wearing the jersey of a pro athlete helps them identify with their team and their guy. Well, if they can do that, why can’t Jessica?

For certain she should wear team colors. The white jersey with the shimmery pink #9 was silly. (I’m not much for sports team apparel done in pink, but I know they do it to appeal to the female fan.) But maybe Tony gave it to her, and if she hadn’t worn it then he would have played worse.

And his poor play is really his fault, not hers. If he can’t compartmentalize his life and remain focussed on his job when his girlfriend is in the stands, then he’s not much of a professional. Derek Fisher played through the NBA playoffs last season while his infant daughter underwent treatment for retinoblastoma, a form of eye cancer. One of Brett Favre’s greatest games came the day after his father died.

Geez, Tony. It’s just your girlfriend …. Man up, dude.

And at least Jessica shows up for games. I recall DP saying that Gisele Bundchen waited at the hotel when Tom Brady and the Patriots played at Miami earlier in the season. Maybe Gisele is just in it for the Trophy Boyfriend; maybe she hates football. Give Jessica props for attending Cowboys games.

Green Bay lost today, so Dallas clinched home-field advantage for the playoffs. But Tony would have really known that Jessica was serious if she sat through a Cowboys-Packers game at Lambeau. In the stands, not in a luxury box.

Now that would be True Love.

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