Man, I hate making those phone calls.
I’m a huge news junkie, but even though I heard about the shootings at Virginia Tech yesterday morning it didn’t resonate with me until I heard more in the late afternoon and a reporter on radio said “Blacksburg.”
We have friends in Blacksburg.
They’re even on the faculty at Virginia Tech, but for some reason the news story didn’t hit home with me until I heard “Blacksburg.”
So I had to make that phone call, the one where you pray someone on the other end picks up, but where you’re also terrified that the person who picks up is going to tell you some very bad news.
On a personal level, we came out all right. Our friends are fine. Their toddler was in day care not far from the West Ambler Johnston dorm where the first shooting occurred, and “G” was teaching in a building not far from Norris Hall where the second shooting occurred. Too close for comfort. And they don’t know if their all students are safe.
I’ve had to make phone calls like that before, but mostly it has been after natural disasters: phoning relatives in Hawaii while Hurricane Iwa was blowing through, trying to reach friends in Los Angeles after the Northridge earthquake (I couldn’t get through but was able to reach them via email), checking with a friend to make sure his father was OK after Hurricane Frances struck very close to their home.
Then again, I’ve also had to make those phone calls after man-made disasters: to friends in NYC after the World Trade Center bombing, to my best friends after a Seattle gunman killed two people and was on the loose near their neighborhood, and to friends and family in NYC and D.C. on 9/11.
When I went off to school in New York City some people exclaimed “New York City?!?” in a tone that implied I was taking my life into my own hands. The perception back then was that NYC was where people got murdered left and right. In incorrect assumption, to be sure.
Now people will say “Blacksburg” in the same way they say “Columbine.”
“New York City!” isn’t the epithet it used to be.
my college kids are elsewhere, but several of their high school classmates attend VT. we’ve checked in with the close friends, and they’re as OK as they can be. one guy we know just missed being in class because he slept in. he returned to Ohio Monday night with plans to take the rest of the week off but he’s pretty shook up. if he was mine, I’d hate to send him back.
another friend is a freshman; I’m acquainted with his mom, though we’re not close. it would surprise me if she stayed home this week. if one of my kids went there, I’d be with them.
my advice to anyone close to school or college aged kids, is let them talk about what it feels like to fear going to school. my kids were young when the Columbine shootings happened, and I was caught off-guard by how much it affected them - I didn’t think they listened to the news back then. they needed to talk about it, and I needed to learn what the world looked like to them. I thought I’d done everything I could to let them feel safe and secure, and in many ways I succeeded. they’ve shown me (as if I needed the lesson) that the world is bigger than my best intentions.
my heart goes out to the people who’s futures will never be the same again after Blacksburg.
Comment by rrgirl — 18 April 2007, Wednesday @ 01:45:29
I’m glad that your friends and family are alright. I’ve made those phone calls (Oklahoma City, 9/11, Katrina) too, and it’s a sick feeling listening to other end ring and waiting for an answer. I was also surprised by the reaction to Columbine. One young man at work (he was 19 or so at the time) was really affected by it. Here is someone who used to stay up to 5 in the morning playing computer games and then roll into work at 7. Columbine changed him. How terrible to send your children off to school and not have them return home.
Comment by Karl — 19 April 2007, Thursday @ 11:05:51
I was going to say “the same way they say Kent State.”
To most people I know, Kent (that’s what we call it) is a university. Lots of people I know, including a sister, graduated from it. But to the world, its meaning is very different. We understand why. Because it was different to us, too.
I too am glad the people you know are okay.
Comment by Scoop — 25 April 2007, Wednesday @ 23:06:15
I know this is, in the lifespan of the internet, sort of an old post, but I hear you on the New York City thing — though I’d have to argue that it is still an epithet. I left for school in NYC this past summer, and every person in my sleepy upstate town I told this too had the same raised-eyebrow look of surprise, and more than one suggested arming myself, as though I were walking into a war zone.
I’ve felt safer in most parts of the city than I did in Syracuse. So while the city itself has changed, I don’t know how much public perception has.
And I’m very glad that your friends stayed safe.
Comment by Tory — 28 April 2007, Saturday @ 21:43:17