Naked in the Shower and Other Reasons why Heterosexuals Fear Gay People

Scoop on Do I Hear What I Hear?:

And I have to agree with you. Doug Gottlieb, subbing for Dan yesterday and continuing the topic, only made things worse. He was sounding OK for a while there, and then he started using the phrase “alternate lifestyle,” and then I think he said something about “choice,” and then I just couldn’t take it anymore. Eesh.

(A continuation of comments made in Big Hitter, the Lama …)

Whenever someone uses the word “choice” in a discussion on homosexuality I have one reaction:

“Oh. My. God.”

Are there still people who believe that the earth is flat? (Besides Thomas Friedman, I mean.)

I usually like listening to Doug Gottlieb and John Seibel; I also had Colin Cowherd’s show on for a fair amount last week. But the topics have not been all that interesting to me and I found their commentary lacking. So I didn’t pay close attention to what they were saying, whether it was the Wade Phillips hiring in Dallas or the John Amaechi story. Sorry, guys. Nothing personal.

Seibel seemed to be lecturing on Thursday, and Gottlieb somewhat on Friday as well. Perhaps it was because they spent so much time on the Amaechi story and were covering it as a serious topic. I mean, it wasn’t one of those Naked-Coach-at-the-McDonald’s-Drive-Thru stories. Geez, I was almost nostalgic for something — anything! — on Terrell Owens. No offense to gays, but to me this “story” is such a non-issue. I can see why it has gotten so much attention, particularly in the sports world where (1) Amaechi worked, and (2) that world is hyper macho. But for me, the issue of this story is why it’s such an issue at all.

It’s like: Hello! 21st century!

One thing I like about Dan Patrick is his fireside chat demeanor. Even when he’s en fuego (e.g., when he was going off on Oprah for having Shawn Hornbeck and his parents on tv less than a week after the boy had been rescued from his kidnapper) I don’t get the feeling like he’s wagging his finger and lecturing me (see: Bill Clinton and l’affaire Lewinsky). Ditto Keith Olbermann. Their tone changes and their voices go up an octave or two and — yeah, OK — they can get a little preachy, especially KO. But I never get the sense that they are lecturing me. Yes, they’re opinionated. But their line of reasoning is usually pretty sound. Sometimes they sound like idiots. But, heck, sometimes I sound like an idiot! Perhaps I’m just to the point now where I’ve listened to them long enough (about a year) that I respect their opinion even if I don’t agree with them. As mentioned previously, people build up credibility with me. DP and KO have cred with me.

The DP substitutes are drive-by guys. I don’t dislike them, but neither have they won me over yet.

LeBron James has cred with me. It’s not something I can really put my finger on; I’m not that big an NBA fan anymore, although I do follow the game. It’s just that he’s conducted himself well on and off the court. He went pro right out of high school to gazillions of dollars, immense scrutiny, and high expectation. And he’s handled it well. He’s a very good player and you haven’t heard DP utter the words “strip club … gunplay … LeBron James” in the same sentence. Based on the way some professional athletes conduct themselves these days that’s a big plus. It seems to me that he’s never really given any thought to the concept of homosexuality and American society, much less the possibility of having a gay co-worker. In his interviews following news of Amaechi’s book it sounds like James is kind of winging it. On Friday I heard part of an interview with him; not sure if they were his initial remarks or a follow up to those. He certainly did not sound sure of himself. He does not come off as a raging homophobe — or the guy you’d pick to lead your next Gay Pride Parade. I’m not going to crucify him. Here’s a person — forget that he’s a professional athlete, forget that he’s young, forget that he’s lived a fairly insulated life — who makes a couple of statements in the media and people are judging him.

The media is engaging in a game of Gotcha. They have what they consider a hot story and they need someone famous to say something incendiary. I initially phrased it as “Gotcha Journalism,” but it’s an insult to journalism to refer to it as such. This is the reportage version of the paparazzi, those photographers who hound the famous in the hopes of snapping a “good” shot. Not a stunning Karsh portrait, an Avedon masterpiece, or something documenting American life a là Margaret Bourke-White. They’re looking for something insulting, humiliating, and just plain trashy.

I’ll admit that I’ve indulged in that game, having fun with Senator Biden’s clean and articulate description of Barack Obama. It was a dopey thing to say, but no way do I think Biden is racist or in any way mocking other black politicians. My bad.

IMG Academies provides media training for its young stars-in-the-making. (Perhaps Bill Belichick should audit some courses so that he can learn how to play nice with the media.) In a way this is good; athletes can deal more effectively with the media, which can be crushing. Then again, these young people can become a little too groomed, a little too coached-up, a little too robotic. This is the rub against Alex Rodriguez:that he’s a bit of a phony, that he’s not real.

Personally, I kind of like how Belichick is so media unfriendly. I love Bill Parcells’ press conferences; he is so funny, he could do stand-up. (Didn’t DP and KO speculate on what Parcells would be like as a presidential press secretary? That would be hilarious.) But that’s Tuna being Tuna. I don’t get the feeling that Belichick’s behavior is an act; it’s Hoodie being Hoodie. He’s being real, and I can live with that. So he leaves the media languishing for a sound bite? Big deal.

We want people to be real, but then we castigate them when they don’t live up to our expectations, our version of Realness. LeBron James seems like he’s being real. Maybe he is, maybe he isn’t. I don’t know. But I’m cutting him slack on this. It’s like what Scoop and I bantered about regarding the discovery of new facts and history:

But that, I suppose, is what makes it all interesting, eh?

The same goes with being a person. We learn new things every day. Everything, everyone we encounter influences us. All through life. This mini-frenzy on Amaechi’s book may get people thinking about gays in society, and that would be good. Barack Obama’s candidacy may get people thinking about the possibility of a black president, as well as why it seems that he’s too black for some white people and too white for some black people. It’s not like you reach a certain age and say “That’s it. I’m all done. I am a complete person. I can’t grow anymore. There is nothing left for me to learn.” That’s not the way it works.

There is no finish line.